Be Upset, But Not for Too Long

Tug of war between two animations.

Conflict is a part of life. You can never have too much lasting peace without some disruption of it along the way. It keeps everything balanced out for the most part.

We all know that no matter how much you care and love someone, there will always be a time when they inadvertently hurt you or rub you the wrong way. I am probably one of most non-confrontational people around. I am simply not a fan of drama so if I get upset by anyone, I tend to just internalize those emotions to give myself a chance to think through the whole situation, and how best to resolve it. Getting worked up and dramatic never helps and only makes things worse.

The best thing to do in a situation like this, is to take the time that you need to calm yourself, collect your thoughts and think about the best way to approach a resolution. If you know the other person will not budge easily, then try resolving the situation in increments. Show them subtly by your actions that while you stand by your own beliefs and are not about to cave into them, you are showing your own version of class and maturity by extending an olive branch to them.

This could be in the form of inviting them over for coffee or tea, praising their recent work on something or even a casual like on a recent social media post (if you’re connected to them) can go a long way. Anything that might indicate to them, that, “Hey, read between the lines, I know we recently had a disagreement and though I stand firm by my beliefs, I’m not looking to hold a permanent grudge and actually still care about you, so perhaps you might want to consider making amends.”

Essentially kill them with kindness and while they will likely still feel very strongly about their own opinion, they will at least acknowledge and respect that yours is valid too.

If they continue to be angry, in spite of your acts of selflessness and kindness, then that becomes a reflection of who they are and you may want to rethink their place in your life in general.

Just know that you will come out the better person.

Don’t take too long

Anger is like a mental prison – it hinders your happiness, it consumes you, it disturbs your overall peace. Holding onto anger for an indefinite period of time can destroy you and permanently taint your relationship with the person you are in conflict with.

Depending on the context of the situation, it’s equally important to never be upset for too long. By all means, go through all of the emotions – but in a timely manner. Find that fine line between taking your necessary time out and also turning things around sooner than later.

Taking too long to make amends can have a detrimental impact and only make things worse. This is more problematic if both parties are stubborn. For example, if it takes six months or a year for someone to come around and apologize for a falling out that they instigated, you might accept that apology, but are you going to be willing to reconnect as if things were the same? Probably not considering the amount of time that had passed, and how much things may have changed for you at that point. So what might have been is now lost, mainly because of how long it took to rectify things.

So once you feel your anger or frustration towards something subsiding, extend the olive branch so that you can be one step closer to restoring your own peace.

Anger is like a mental prison – it hinders your happiness, it consumes you, it disturbs your overall peace.
It’s not about them, it’s about you.

Never expect the other person to extend the olive branch first.It’s about how you handle the situation and what will make you feel better, that will matter the most. If we all waited for someone else to take initiative on something, then we would get nowhere anytime soon. We’d become prisoners of our own stubbornness all the while missing out on valuable time that should be spent in peace and harmony. Life is too short to hold onto anger longer than you should. Happiness and peace go hand in hand, so while life will continue to throw you curveballs, always remember the end goal of restoring that sense of peace, for yourself.

The illustration of positivity will only illuminate those around you.

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3 thoughts on “Be Upset, But Not for Too Long

    1. Yes indeed. Taking the step can be very hard, but knowing how much peace it will bring you afterwards makes it all worth it. 🙂

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