It’s Okay to Not be Okay

A woman peers out a window, who is not okay.
Photo Source: Adobe Stock Images

Too often, we are conditioned to think that we must always be strong and positive no matter what might be going on in our lives. Of course, I am an advocate for being positive and strongly believe that being positive and having positive thoughts can do wonders for your overall well-being.

However, we can’t forget that we are human, and that sometimes life will throw us curveballs that will hit our most vulnerable spots. Just know that it’s perfectly okay to be not be okay.

You don’t always have to put on a positive front. Sometimes that is more detrimental than actually embracing how you really feel – which could be a culmination of anger, bitterness, resentment, etc towards whatever challenge or obstacle you are facing. You need to allow yourself to go through all of the emotions in order to feel whole again.

Recently, a close friend of mine went through a difficult time and went through a phase of just not wanting to keep it all together. She did not want to be positive or optimistic. She wanted to be mad and frustrated and really just wanted to be left alone. But she communicated this in the most sincere and humblest way that everyone in her corner completely understood and respected that. She loved everyone, but just needed a timeout to herself.

Sometimes, when we are going through a rough time, being alone in the comfort of your own thoughts and head space is what you need in order to allow yourself to come to a point of restored peace and normalcy.

As much as loved ones want to help in situations like this, it can actually do more harm than good to be around someone before they are ready to have you around them. At that point, you are imposing more than you are helping.

So never view it as a sign of weakness if you don’t want to keep it altogether. You are human, after all, not a clown with a permanent, fake smile painted on your face. Give yourself the time you need to feel like yourself again and those that are meant to be in your life, those that really ‘get it’, and have patiently waited for you to come around, will be waiting with open arms.

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2 thoughts on “It’s Okay to Not be Okay

  1. Being human, we can accept the fact that most of us really don’t have it all together and those who do, quite often are really just fronting.
    This whole past year, I’ve been dealing with death.
    Two days after New Years, I had to say, “Good Bye” to my cat. A month later, my other cat died of old age and organ failure. Then a really good friend passed after a long battle suffering with cancer.
    https://julxrp.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/farewell-to-dear-friend/

    A few weeks ago we had to say “Good Bye” to our hamster and two days ago, I learned of the passing of another elderly friend.
    In every situation, I failed to shed a tear. Even when standing in the midst of a hospital room where everyone was bawling out, I failed to shed a tear; though I had such a sense of loss, I could not even speak it out.
    In those situations, it seemed that I was the sane one; who had everything under control, even my emotions. No one knew, I envied them, because they could cry and I couldn’t.

    Through it all, I wasn’t putting up a front or hiding my emotions, etc. Reading your article reminded me that even though whatever I was going through, there was an element of peace; a feeling of being complete acceptation of the situation. I guess this is where my faith came into play – the simple knowledge that death, though a part of natural life, is never really the end on the spiritual plain.

    To be completely Okay in whatever situation is to find this peace and be at peace, even when it seems like your entire world is crumbling. And if you’re not able to do that, your article reminds us that its really is Okay, to not be Okay.

    1. Julian, thank you for your comment and I’m so sorry for all the grief and heartache you’ve endured. Sending you all the positive vibes and warm wishes for better days ahead. I’m glad that my post helped you to put your feelings into perspective and bring you more peace. Thank you again.

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