Hold Me, Don’t Scold Me

download

When we have a friend or loved one who is facing the challenges of making positive lifestyle changes, part of their journey to self-improvement will include the need for a strong support system behind them. Motivation ultimately needs to come from within, but the help of those around them can only fuel that desire for positive change – if the help is delivered in a positive way.

Depending on the situation, you might want your companion to better themselves as quickly as possible, in order to alleviate your own stress when it comes to their well-being.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.

People dealing with their own personal challenges need time in order to overcome their own demons, and the support from their family and loved ones needs to come with patience. It can be hard seeing your loved one going through the challenges of turning their life around, but rushing the change will only make things worse.

For example, I’m sure many of us have people in our lives that we care about that are struggling to quit smoking. They have the desire to quit, but are having a hard time finding that inner will power to get the ball rolling. It can be difficult, especially when you are frustrated yourself, but the best thing to do in this is situation is to just be as understanding and nurturing as possible. We as humans can become quite vulnerable when facing our own personal flaws, so our support system really needs to be there as a safety net for us to fall back on or simply hold onto. No matter what our age, we need to be ‘babied’ to an extent in these types of situations.

That’s why well-intentioned advice can quickly turn into an unwanted scolding if you don’t allow the recipient of your advice to actually absorb it. So work with them in finding different ways for them to phase the habit out gradually; whether it’s researching books, going to support groups together, etc. Whatever the case, they need someone they can lean on for comfort, not a drill sergeant barking orders down their throat. By getting angry and berating them, you are not only working against them but also making them feel alone and alienated in their quest for improvement and the results will be detrimental.

Don’t make them feel worse about their lifestyle by reminding them of their own demons, or expressing your frustration over them not correcting themselves according to your timeline. Because at that point, you are forcing an ideal situation to materialize before it is actually meant to. If it’s meant to happen, it will when the time is right for them. 

People dealing with their own personal challenges need time in order to overcome their own demons, and the support from their family and loved ones needs to come with patience. It can be hard seeing your loved one going through the challenges of turning their life around, but rushing the change will only make things worse.

It is also important to remember that any type of change that results in a healthier lifestyle is a journey filled with potential bumps along the road when it comes to resisting temptation or facing withdrawal. They will need you as a shoulder to lean on as they move along this new path to recovery and self-improvement, so be patient, be their source of encouragement and just be there for them as they embark on a new journey to a better self.

The image in this post can be found here.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Hold Me, Don’t Scold Me

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s