Sarah Warsi

We’ve likely all been there.

We had a friend, a person that we connected with, confided in, and went through some incredible times with, and for reasons unknown, that union eventually faded into oblivion.

Attempts to reach out went unnoticed and, before you knew it, what was once a strong and blossoming kinship has faded into a distant memory.

As you get older, you will realize that this is a reality of life. You will meet people who you initially got along with great, created some happy memories with, and then life got in the way, and before you knew it, they were gone.

And then you find yourself wondering why?

The reality is that people do change and that often times, you specifically may have had nothing to do with it. Sometimes people get to a point in their life where they feel the need to scale back on the number of people they associate with. There is nothing wrong with this as we all have our reasons for wanting more privacy, but unfortunately, it does come with the consequence of being on the receiving end of the ‘cut’. If you personally did have something to do with the friendship eroding, then the lack of communication only makes it harder to come to peace with the end of it.

That’s part of the problem.

In a perfect world, people would be a lot more open about their feelings and why they did what they did, but in reality, it just doesn’t work that way. Actions speak louder than words and often times, passive aggression or the silent treatment are your only sources of communication.

That’s why when it becomes apparent that the friendship is no more, it’s usually best to not spend any more time and energy wondering what you might have done wrong. You may never know what happened, but showing that you cared enough by reaching out, makes you a winner.

There was a reason this individual came into your life when they did, so instead of feeling too down about it,  look at the whole experience as a lesson learned and an opportunity for growth. Maybe this person came into your life to help you through a tough time because you had no one else to lean on. Maybe their presence in your life at that time was exactly what you needed in order to get through your own problems. If this is the case, then it can be even harder to understand why they have pulled away from you.

But eventually, you’ll need to come to terms with the realization that things have simply changed beyond your comprehension and that it’s not your job to spend any more time trying to figure out what went wrong or what might have been. It doesn’t mean you’re any less grateful to them for having helped you in the past and having been there for you in a time of need, it just means that their chapter in your book of life has concluded. You wish them the same happiness in their life as you would expect them to wish you. If you’re meant to reconnect at some later point, the universe will make that happen in the form of a random encounter at the grocery store or somewhere else.

The key takeaway is to understand that some connections are only meant to be temporary – you’re meant to cross paths with each other for a purpose and when that purpose has been fulfilled, and that life lesson has been learned, it’s time to move onto the next phase of your life.