Too often we go through everyday life chasing our bliss – that ideal reality that never seems to materialize.
I think this yearning becomes even more apparent the older we get and the more aware we become of our mortality. However, at the same time, it can also be very detrimental to constantly chase after something that, if you really thought about it, you are not even sure of yourself.
Earlier, I was sifting through some old files on my computer and I found myself taking a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about my professional past. Certain memories came to the forefront of my thoughts and I found myself wondering for a second, “what if?”
There was one particular memory I had: it was 2005 and I just had wrapped up a volunteer shift at Rogers. I had been going to the local TV station about three times a week to assist the crew members on their various shows. I remember being quite heavily involved with one particular show around that time. I had taken on at least two or three roles in the process: I was operating the studio camera in one show, floor directing in another, and helping out in the control room on yet another occasion. The show aired later that evening and I watched it at home with my parents.
It was then that I had my moment: the credits started to roll and there was my name, crawling ever so slowly up the screen, but just slow enough to make an impact.
My dad looked over at me with such pride and admiration in that moment. I’ll never forget it.
Anytime I think back to that moment, I always find myself wondering, what if? What if I had made a different choice back then? What if I had been more assertive and tried harder to make a career in broadcast tv? What if I had been less afraid to really go for something I had felt pretty strongly about at the time?
And then, just as quickly, I snapped myself back to reality and realized that the answer is simple: it just wasn’t meant to be. How my life unraveled over the years that ensued was exactly how it was meant to. And here I am, at the tender age of 34, still aspiring for that unreachable bliss, but also relishing in the now, embracing each day as it comes.
Nevertheless my past and its myriad of ups and downs have shaped who I am today and I can say that I am in a much better place.
So take the time to reflect and reminisce, but don’t regret the way things turned out because they turned out exactly how they were supposed to.